splish splash

The water makes me feel free.

It reminds me off when I was little, without a care in the world.

I didn't care about the rain messing up my make-up or hair.

I just wanted to jump in the puddles.

I still love sitting in the conservatory, listening to the rain hit the windows.

When I was a little girl, I'd think I was a mermaid whenever I swam under water.

Canoeing makes me feel like there's no boundaries to where I can go. 

And still, when I first dip my toes into the sea, river, lake

or pool, the excitement and love for the water, that I felt when I was little

Josh

I

wonder

what

life

would

be

like

now

if

I

had

never

met

you

You step u[, I'll step up too

I'd love to be able to professionally dance

LIVE HARD, FUCK HARD & DIE HARD

Audrey Kitching is amazing

Guns

TAKE ME DOWN TO THE PARADISE CITY
WHERE THE GRASS IS GREEN
AND THE GIRLS ARE PRETTY ♥

I can't believe I cried today but I really will miss a lot of people that aren't coming to 6th form. 

12 years of compulsory education, and it's over. Let the good times roll. 

05-10 ♥

It's too hot, I would really like some Jack Daniel's and coke right about now. That would be perfect. 
I'm sat in my underwear, with tan lines and I actually feel very optimistic about summer... I can't wait at all!

I can't seem to revise. 
I have no motivation. 
All I want to do is design tattoos!

Goodbye Redhill

Nose piercing next week! Can't wait!

Reading Amy's blog reminded me of the past, because she'd posted a link to http://www.givesmehope.com/ and http://www.sixbillionsecrets.com/

I'm glad I've got over all of that, I'm pretty proud of myself. Why shouldn't I be? I'm losing weight in a way that's a lot more healthier and I feel great for it. I'm eating better but still snacking on whatever I want and I've joined the gym, I've been going since April and I'm getting a bit addicted.

I feel quite selfish, when I look back at it all, I made Josh worry all the time. Whenever I went to the bathroom, it was as if I could hear him panicking. A couple of my close friends used to tell me off when I used to shake uncontrollably, and I remember Lauren screaming in my face, with floods of tears rolling down her cheeks because she was worried about me. 

I'm really sorry Josh and Lauren, for what I did to you. But when you feel like that... the need to be beautiful, perfect and like the tiny models you see in magazines, it kind of takes over you. I used to look in the mirror and see someone the size of a house, I couldn't think about anything else apart from losing weight because of how disgusting I thought I looked. If anyone who knows me is reading this, I bet you're questioning all of this because it sounds like a lie. It sometimes feels like a dream. But Josh reminds me sometimes... It was as real as it gets.


The most annoying thing is when people make disorders sound almost fashionable. Some people, go on like eating disorders are something cool. I used to cry everyday because I didn't want to be me, I would question my boyfriend why he liked me... who on earth would or could love someone like me?... It's not fucking cool.


Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthybody weight, and an obsessive fear of gaining weight due to a distorted self image ... which alters how the affected individual evaluates and thinks about their body, food and eating.

we'll be there for every breath you take
we'll be there for every move you make
♥ ♥ ♥

Fretwell

It's those moments when you kiss me and I feel like I'm falling in love all over again

Thank God for Jack Daniel's ♥

BBABH

This is what it's like to be young
Singing loud and having fun
Hoping the sun will never rise
It'll never rise

Unimportance

You'll leave school

You won't me miss

You'll forget who I am

You won't stay in touch.

Don't say you will.

"that's game, Hendrix!"

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace
                                                                                                      -Jimi Hendrix

8:46

maybe I'm young and naive. 
But this could last forever if we want it. 
And we do.

fml.

Clip Clop.

I went horse riding again today; thought I may as well, seeing as the weather was gorgeous!

I worked my horse (Daisy, on the left) in the paddock today because it looked like there would be showers... but there wasn't. Practised my figure eight's, circles, circuits and put her through her paces. Eleven years later, and I still get a rush from riding.

I adore my horses. 

*my own photo*

I've been with Josh for 15 months today, and I 

can't see him until tomorrow afternoon because

he's still in Germany, unfortunately. So today, 

I'm going to school (In a hour and a half, it's only 7am)

then going to the gym, hanging with Joe's band at

6-9pm, then stopping at his house, so today

should be pretty good; minus the fact I miss Josh.

  But, I think I've done pretty good, I haven't

moaned about missing him until today and  it was

Sunday since I last spoke to him.

   He apparently ate a dodgy kebab and was sick

27 times... nothing to with alcohol, i'm sure...

15 months have flown by! But how cool is this;

it'll be our 17 months while we're on holiday in

July together :)

I love you smelly.

*my own photo*

Macmillan Gig

That's Josh at the front, with blonde hair and holding the sign; Lexi's the guy next to him with the hat on.

All of these people are performing in Summer to raise money for charity, and I think that is so cool; helping others by doing something you love. 

Oh yeah, the guy next to Lexi is Timmy, he's in TONITE (Josh's band) 

Why not join their page on Facebook? http://www.facebook.com/TONITE

This was a random post, I guess :)

There is only one me.

Maybe my skin isn't flawless. 
             I have birthmarks, stretch marks and scars.
Maybe my hair doesn't always look immaculate.
              I have roots and split ends.
Maybe I don't have perfect body.
              I have a jelly belly and I'm not size 8.
Maybe I overreact sometimes.
              I have more than one emotion.
Maybe I don't dress like everyone else.
              I like what I think is nice.

But maybe, just maybe, I don't care because my best friends and
boyfriend don't care because they accept me as I am, and that is me.
              There is only one me.

:(

Josh has been in Germany since Monday
I'm Ill
I have terrible hay fever
I have millions of revision to do
... can it get any better?!

Lexi's was awesome. Thanks man, hope you enjoyed it,
                    and happy 16th.

I love Lexi, he's legendary and has a cool room

All the best for him and Amy, they're so cute

You make me feel like a kid again

Whore.

I haven't posted anything in a while because there really has been nothing to talk about. Now there is. A few weeks ago, Gemma - a so called close friend, said she'd slept with Josh. A simple message: fuck with my relationship again and you.will.die.

Bite Me

i want. i want.i want

I am fed up of being sold out for drugs.